


Two Married Lives

by guava



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Parado and Nico appears briefly as their kids ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 08:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9811115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guava/pseuds/guava
Summary: What if Kuroto was the wife and Taiga was the husband?Kuroto sexts Taiga to compensate for setting Taiga's favourite shirt on fire.What if Taiga was the wife and Kuroto was the husband?Taiga's homemaking efforts involve keeping the kids in line and keeping Kuroto from buying useless crap.





	

_What if Kuroto was the wife and Taiga was the husband?_

For having influenced Taiga to dress like a proper doctor, Kuroto was rather proud of himself. Taiga had grumbled as he buttoned up his dress shirt and put on his neck tie before leaving for Seto Hospital, all to cover the love bites Kuroto had left on his neck last night. Kuroto was determined to leave more marks and do his best to get Taiga into elegant menswear. 

Without Kuroto noticing, his determination took over his subconscious and led him to put the iron too long on Taiga's favourite shirt. By the time he noticed a burning smell and looked down at his ironing, it was too late--the iron had burned a hole onto the shirt. 

The shirt was a black one with a tiger that had a rose in his mouth; a design which matched Taiga's name and resembled a cheap yakuza back tattoo. Needless to say, Kuroto didn't like this shirt, and liked looking at Taiga less when he had this shirt on. He considered leaving the iron on the shirt until all of the shirt was burnt away. 

No, that'd be inefficient and might lead to their home being burnt down. Kuroto was going to have to do better to get rid of this embarrassing shirt once and for all. He switched off the iron and marched to the bathroom, taking the ruined shirt with him. 

In the bathroom, Kuroto had stashed under the sink a lighter and a cigarette pack which he smoked when Taiga wasn't home. He took out the lighter, tossed the shirt into a basin for doing laundry and set the shirt on fire again.

It burned nicely. Now for Kuroto to ensure that Taiga won't set him on fire upon realizing his favourite shirt was no more. As Kuroto stared into the fire rising from the basin for inspiration, he had an idea. An idea to get Taiga to prefer proper dress shirts over fugly ones. 

Kuroto took out his phone to send a message to Taiga, 'What are you wearing? ;)' 

Taiga's reply, 'u know what. U saw me off at the front door. Are u srsly sexting me in the middle of a work day -_-' 

'Yes! Thinking about u wearing a tie gets me hot :D' 

In addition to the literal fire blazing a feet away from Kuroto, of course. 

No immediate reply from Taiga. Kuroto waited for Taiga to turn back to the opened excel spreadsheet on his computer, get bored and feel like being entertained. 

Soon enough, Taiga texted back, 'ok, let's do this. Do u have a businessman fetish or smth' 

Eight sexts later, Kuroto was done convincing Taiga to indulge in his so-called businessman fetish, both in bed and out of it. The burning of the fugly shirt was done too. As Kuroto turned on the tap to put out the fire, his phone rang. Taiga had called. 

"Is the kitchen on fire?" Taiga asked. 

"No," Kuroto replied, simultaneously talking and opening the bathroom's window to let out the accumulated smoke. 

"Is anything on fire?" 

"No." 

'Well, not now,' Kuroto mentally added. 

"Good. By the way, I know all about your secret smoker's stash." 

Kuroto chuckled as Taiga ended the call. The flames of passion in Kuroto's heart burned stronger than the flames Kuroto had just put out. 

* * *

_What if Taiga was the wife and Kuroto was the husband?_

"Can the kids eat that?" Taiga asked as Kuroto placed a potted fern in their shopping trolley.

"No, but we do need this," Kuroto attempted to explain. "We need this to purify the air in our home. For the kids." 

Taiga wasn't about to buy that. 

"Put it back where you found it and only put in vegetables for the kids," he ordered. 

His orders as the parent in charge of household funds were absolute. Though Kuroto made much more money than Taiga as one of the genius coders of Japan, his eye for useless crap would ruin them. For one, he had spent way too freely on video games and toys for Parado and Nico. Taiga had to pick up the slack by feeding the kids vegetables, making sure they weren't constipated and dealing with being the less popular parent. 

How could Taiga win the kids favour without competing with Kuroto? He'd never win when it came to spoiling them with material things. He continued to ponder the issue all the way back home from the supermarket. While catching up on housework, he kept the matter at the back of his mind. 

"Excuse me," Taiga said as he entered Kuroto's home office with his vacuum cleaner. 

Absorbed in writing and shifting the code on his laptop screen, Kuroto didn't acknowledge Taiga's presence. He was in the zone. While Taiga was vacuuming dust from all corners of the room, Kuroto was hard at work on chipping away their mortgage. 

Maybe Taiga should consider a lucrative career switch. But if he became the chief moneymaker, would Kuroto as a result be demoted to chief homemaker? Taiga instantly wanted to vacuum the possibility out of his head. To demote Kuroto to the position would mean giving up the kids' well-being as a lost cause. 

After working around Kuroto to vacuum under his desk, Taiga stared out the window to where the kids were playing outside. Out in the garden, Parado and Nico were fighting over their Mighty plush toy. Again. Both of them were pulling on one of Mighty' arms each and threatened to tear him apart. Again too. Taiga had to stop them before they started crying and begging for a new Mighty and make Taiga tear his hair out. 

"HEY!" Taiga shouted, throwing down the vacuum handle. He next threw open the window and continued shouting, "What did I say about sharing?" 

To get to the kids faster and separate them, Taiga hauled himself out the window and into the garden. He ignored Kuroto's advice to, "Use the front door, honey." 

It turned out that with or without Taiga's homemaking efforts, the kids were close to a lost cause. Yet Taiga wasn't about to give up. That night, he racked his brains in the bath thinking of how to hide the carrots in their food. Kuroto, who persisted on pressing his hard-on against the small of Taiga's back, was no help. Taiga ought to kick him out naked, especially since the kids were already asleep. 

He had second thoughts as Kuroto massaged his shoulders and told him, "You're the best wife ever." 

"Why did you add those carrots when even you won't eat them?" Taiga snapped. 

"Cause I know you like them, my bunny," Kuroto replied, and kissed the side of Taiga's neck. "Anyway, why don't we make another baby. I get so lonely when you and the kids leave home in the morning." 

"Poor you," Taiga said, but his sarcasm lost its bite as Kuroto began to suck on his neck. 

All rationality left Taiga's tired body as Kuroto circled his arms around Taiga's waist. Taiga began to entertain dangerous thoughts of expanding the family. Of having a new kid...who might end up having Taiga's no-nonsense character instead of inheriting Kuroto's self-indulgent streak. 

They could do it. He could do it. 

'Maybe third time's the charm,' Taiga thought. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Dinner and a Show](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858452) by [lucybeetle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucybeetle/pseuds/lucybeetle)




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